Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
