Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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