I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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