watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
