I wish I could punch you in the face.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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