toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
