Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
