how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
a search helicopter?!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
