plz talk dirty to me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
