it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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