Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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