Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
