Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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