nut hugger
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
