I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
