Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
