Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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