So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
