so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
