And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
