who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
