it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm always down for nudity.
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