I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
