wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
