My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
