How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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