Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just high enough for therapy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
