Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
