Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
