well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
