Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
