Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
