Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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