I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
