Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
