Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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