it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
either way he was missing a nipple.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
