So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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