yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We left the knife in your bed.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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