i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
