You just made me feel so damn special
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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