I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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