So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
