I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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