If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
