Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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