i can't believe i had my finger in that
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
