I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
