So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
