break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
