Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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