At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
