how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We left the knife in your bed.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
